August 7th is a special day in my calendar and has been for the last 5 years. On this day 5 years ago I was hallucinating in the ICU after spending 6 hours with my head clamped to a table in surgery. Doesn’t sound like much fun, does it.
Going into surgery on August 7th, 2015 was the scariest day of my life and a close second was March 18th, 2015 standing in the emergency department in my pj’s being diagnosed with a brain tumour. The months that followed the diagnosis were challenging. My oldest son was in kindergarten my youngest in diapers. I was a mom to a 2 year old and 5 year old, first year graduate student and unsure of what the future might hold. Life was scary.
Today and every day I celebrate walking from the experience away a brain tumour survivor. Walking away was a feat in itself, my first walk (the length of a hallway) about 3 days after surgery involved my husband carrying my catheter bag like a purse, and IV pole and sunglasses. I will let you picture that because there are no pictures of that part.
My battle scars still exist, I have a nice 3″ scar behind my left ear, a metal plate covering the hole in my skull, and strength I didn’t know I had. I blame my inability to spell and the odd thing I think I can get away with on my now non-existent tumour.
Each year around my craniversary I challenge myself to partaking in an activity that requires balance. From paddle board yoga to rock climbing I have tried some interesting new things over the last 4 years, and this year I took the opportunity to enjoy an inflatable waterpark in Harrison Hot Springs with my husband and kids. While I still have rubber rug burn on my butt from the waterpark slides it is nothing compared to those first 5 days in the hospital.
After 5 years it’s time to close this chapter and move forward. To those still battling, you got this!
On March 18th 2015, I was diagnosed with a brain tumour and it was life changing. I believe that no one should hear the words “you have a brain tumour”, but it will continue to happen. Which is why it is so important for me to support organizations like the Brain Tumour Foundation of Canada that help those of us unfortunate enough to have heard those words.
As a brain tumour survivor I feel that it’s my duty to raise money for those that never got the chance. Brain tumours and brain cancer are nasty beasts so please join me in supporting this cause near and dear to my brain. I will be running the 5K on May 28th and I will gladly accept your donations on behalf of the Brain Tumour Foundation of Canada.
This is why I’m fundraising for Brain Tumour Foundation of Canada. Patients and families need information, support and education. We also need more research. There are too few treatments for this disease and survival needs to be improved.
Every dollar raised by the Brain Tumour Walk goes towards these goals.
Thank you for giving and, more importantly, for helping the 27 Canadians diagnosed daily with a brain tumour. You’re changing lives.
For those of you that have already sponsored me, thank you!
On May 28th my family will be running to raise money for the Brain Tumour Foundation to donate please follow this link. THANK YOU!!
Two and a half months after brain surgery my husband and I went away over night to celebrate our anniversary without the kids! It was the same weekend as the Brain Cancer Got Me Thinking art show, in October 2015. I participated in the art show and was interested in seeing the show, but I also wanted to have a spa weekend with my husband.
We opted for the spa weekend, and I am glad that we did. We spent the better part of the day in a mineral pool and it was the first time in a long time that I felt relaxed. It also inspired the piece which I submitted this year for the Brain Cancer Got Me Thinking art show.
Ebb & Flow is a quilling (paper) piece inspired by our weekend away post surgery. Learning that you have a brain tumour is a dark experience. “Ebb & Flow” depicts my recovery from brain surgery. The large dark circles represent the hours spent in surgery and the balance of the circles depicts the good and bad days after surgery. I was in a state of constant fluctuation much like the ebb and flow of the tide. The colours used are intended to represent water.
This piece is part of the Brain Cancer Got Me Thinking show at the Visual Space Gallery in Vancouver. The show runs from May 3-9th. If you check it out let me know what you think.
Packing up this piece today, to send it to the “Inner Workings” art show at The Gerry & Nancy Pencer Brain Tumor Centre in the Princess Margaret in Toronto. Last year I participated in the “Brain Cancer Got Me Thinking” art show in Vancouver with this quilling piece which kept me busy during recovery from brain surgery.
On March 18, 2015, I was diagnosed with a brain tumour while standing in the hallway of the emergency department. It was an emotional journey while I battled with what it meant to have a brain tumour and the decisions that I had to make as a result. On August 7th, 2015, I had surgery to remove the tumour.
Learning that you have a brain tumour is a dark experience. Having a brain tumour is not something that we patients do alone, we need life guards and beacons of light in the storm. One of the people that brought me light was my neurosurgeon. He was patient, kind and gave me hope. I also see him as a life guard who protected me through surgery. I dedicate this photo to him, and as I no longer need his services there is no longer a life guard on duty.
“A Light in the Storm” is my entry to the “Inner Workings” show.
Thank you to all of the people that donated to our walk for the Brain Tumour Foundation. My husband, son who requested donations in lieu of gifts for his 7th birthday and I raised a combined total of $2,395. We walked/ran the 5K route around the University of Victoria yesterday. I ran it with my 7-year-old trainer, while my husband walked with our 3 year old. It was an emotional day as I remembered where I was last year for the walk. Last year I had been recently diagnosed and was in the process of learning about treatment. I could not run because it caused a great amount of pain in my head. However, this year I proudly wore the blue survivor shirt and ran most of the 5K with my seven year old.
On March 18th of last year I was diagnosed with a brain tumour and it was life changing. I believe that no one should hear the words “you have a brain tumour”, but it will probably continue to happen. Which is why it is so important for me to support organizations like the Brain Tumour Foundation of Canada that help those of us unfortunate enough to have heard those words.
This is why I’m fundraising for Brain Tumour Foundation of Canada. Patients and families need information, support and education. We also need more research. There are too few treatments for this disease and survival needs to be improved. Continue reading →
Every once in a while it’s important to take a break. A break from things you love (like writing this blog) and things that you don’t. Recently I went on vacation and took a break from many things including parenting. My husband and I went away for a few days together because it’s important for our marriage. I love my kids but I love my husband too, and sometimes we need to be together without the kids. Thankfully my parents are happy to step in and have let us escape more than once.
We contemplated going on a cruise but I have in the past struggled with motion, and given that my brain is still healing we opted for a land based adventure. I may have been fine on a cruise but when someone was meddling around in the part of my brain that controls balance I am going to air on the side of caution for the next 6 months or so.
Our land based adventure involved a fair amount of driving, which for me means a fair amount of knitting. I knit a pair of socks while we were cruising around south Florida. We went to the Florida Keys and Miami. We had a few very relaxing kid free days with lots of time to chat (if you know my husband you understand the humour). Anyway it gave us time to reconnect which is critical to the success of our marriage.
We started just south of Tampa and drove to Homestead where we stayed in a dive (which was a bit of an accident), but we survived the night. We also took the opportunity to hit up Red Lobster. It has been years since I have been to Red Lobster (we don’t have one where we live), and those cheese buns are fantastic.
In the AM we made a quick escape to the Keys and drove all the way to Key West where we spent the day, and evening. We didn’t stay in Key West because it’s pricey, instead we opted to stay in Marathon (another of the keys). In the morning after a trip to IHOP (how can you resist) we drove to Miami Beach. Our hotel was perfectly positioned right on the beach. We walked the beach for hours while I took too many photos. We had dinner on the strip and I drank the biggest margarita I have ever seen, twice.
We spent the following day relaxing poolside before the drive back along alligator alley to life with kids. The kids had an amazing time with their grandparents (pictures below prove it), and we had a great time without them. It’s important for them to spend a little time without us, and for us to spend time without them, we all appreciate each other more after a little time apart.
A year ago today, on March 18, 2015 I was diagnosed with a brain tumour. It was a very dark day. The ER doc softened the blow as best as he could but I was still in shock standing in the hallway of the emergency department. I remember walking out of the ER in a daze to wait for my husband who was organizing childcare for the kids. When he arrived I told him I had a brain tumour and he didn’t believe me. He tried to tell me that I didn’t, and I showed him the paper in my hand that said I did.
That was a year ago, and a lot has happened since. There were a dark few days but I was motivated my by children to get my crap together and get out of bed, which is where I would have stayed if I had my way. A craniotomy to remove the tumour was performed in August of 2015. The entire process was terrifying and painful. Six months later I have some very minimal side effects but nothing that stops me from living a full life. Case in point, this past weekend I went skiing (my tumour was in the part of my brain that controls balance).
Last night I read John Grisham’s “The Tumor: A Non-Legal Thriller” and bawled through the whole thing. If you are interested it’s available for free from Amazon. Thankfully I was reading it this year and not last year because that would have been a disaster. Can you imagine reading a graphic novel about brain surgery the day before you are diagnosed with a brain tumour? Talk about bad timing. If you are going for brain surgery soon do not read this book until you have recovered. After reading Grisham’s thriller I am once again reminded how lucky I was, because it could have been so much worse. SO MUCH WORSE.
Along with the pain and fear of the last year I learned some very valuable lessons. In keeping with my need to make, I fashioned myself this bracelet just in case I forget that I am a survivor. Although I am still reminded every time I look at myself in the mirror, and the area of hair that was shaved for surgery is about 3 inches long and sticking straight out. I have started a brain tumour hair trend, I hope it never catches on, I don’t mind being the only one with crazy hair.
It’s fair to say that this was the hardest year of my life to date, but as the saying goes “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” It didn’t kill me. I am stronger, but it’s probably just the titanium plate in my head 😉
This week I flew for the first time since I had a shiny metal plate bolted to my skull. One of the top questions from people after surgery was “do you think that you will set off the metal detector at the airport”? I went through one metal detector in Canada and one in the US this week. I was actually a little nervous that I would set them off, need to explain the situation, and flash my scar. It’s not really a big deal if I was flying solo, but I had my kidlets in tow. The whole security process at the airport is difficult even if you are really good at it from years of weekly travel like me, add kids into the mix and I feel like it’s a circus act which I have yet to master.
It turns out that I had nothing to worry about, I didn’t even make a tiny beep, it was smooth sailing except for the need to strip down to get through security and then wrangle the sleepy kids back into their coats. So in case you were wondering if that metal plate in my head would set off the metal detector, the answer is no.
The whole family flying together adventure makes me nervous though. The last trip we took Air Canada gave my two year old a seat in the middle of two strangers mid-plane a seat for me at the front of the plane, and his dad and five year old brother seats together in the rear of the plane. It got sorted at the gate at the last minute because obviously no logical human thinks that a two year old flying without their adult is a smart idea. It’s bad enough to be seated close to a child but it’s just mean to put an active two year old between strangers. I have been that stranger seated beside a random child when the parent wasn’t within sight, of course I shifted seats with the parent but shame on Air Canada for putting people in that position.
So when I saw that I couldn’t choose seats when I booked the tickets and I got a notification that they would be assigned at the gate all that I could envision is a situation where the four of us are scattered through out the cabin. I actually contemplated calling the airline so that they could put a note in our file when assigning seats. I was pleasantly surprised when I went online to check in and they had given us seats together. Kudos to you Alaskan Airlines your computer program that matches parents and children works, now if you could share your logic with Air Canada that would be great. My first thought after I got all of us checked in was “I will sleep well tonight”, it was that important to me. First world problems I know.
If you read this far I think you deserve a treat. Here are some shots that I took from the plane.
I received a call the other day from the neurosurgeon’s office about my MRI results after waiting nearly a month. I rarely have the ringer of my phone on so I missed the call. I was sitting getting my hair done (the old lady that lives at my hairline was back with a vengeance) when I checked the message. All I can say is that I have a tremendous sense of relief.
Timmy was fully evicted. The surgery was a success. No extra pieces of him are floating around in my brain. No subsequent tumours were found. My brain has “bounced” back to fill the void that was left from Timmy’s eviction. All that is left is a perfectly healthy brain. Fan_freaking_tastic. My next MRI will be in three years. My surgeon had told me as much after surgery but I didn’t fully believe him. Somehow knowing that someone else looked at a picture of my brain and they say that it’s all good makes all the difference.
Thank you to all of the good tax payers in Canada who have been funding my medical journey, I am going to stop spending your money now! My brain is as good as new.
Now on to the next adventure with my healthy brain.
P.S. I also have received all of my marks from last semester which was my first semester without Timmy and it turns out that I am smarter (at least in post-secondary education) without a brain tumour. Go figure. 😉 That bastard Timmy was dragging down my GPA.