I slept well last night, that is not the norm. I have been awake until the wee hours of the morning thinking, worrying and pacing a rut into the floors. Often my head hurts as I fall asleep and it still hurts when I wake up, not crazy pain, just enough to remind me that there is an invader in my head. Sort of like an uninvited guest, a wedding crasher except it’s my life, so a life crasher. Last night my life crasher let me sleep and I feel well today in part because have been sleeping in a pillow fort. I have been sleeping with an extra pillow just so that my head is a little more elevated in an effort to stop the morning wake-up headaches. Our bedroom however looks like a pillow fort exploded, I have thin ones, square one, fat ones all stacked up beside my bed in an effort to find the “best” combination. The kids love it, and have formed a slide off our bed with all of the extra pillows.
Today I got up, got dressed, got the kids ready and dropped Sasha at school like normal, and it felt really good. Then I came home and started to study. I know you must be thinking that is a little crazy. But I need a distraction. I am almost finished the second semester of my graduate studies, I have days left before the semester is over. I want to attempt to finish the course work so that when I am able I can write the exams and continue on my path.
My doctor has suggested in the form of a doctors note that I defer my exams for 4-6 months. My university initially had a different plan, they have offered me a medical withdrawal/refund, or a 6 week exam deferral. After I conferred with my tumor, we decided that neither of those options were going to work. With just days left of the semester and almost all of my assignments complete I really didn’t want to quit the program, I did all of the work and I am not letting this tumor take even a second of my life away.
I get that there need to be policies in place in institutions like Universities, but come on now. The courses I am taking are offered every semester so what’s the big deal. After 2 weeks of daily back and forth with the school I seem to have found the right person to help me. I really should have started with the disabilities department I would have saved myself some time. I am very relieved that they can accommodate my situation and I can write the exams when I am ready (as long as it’s within the next 6 months).
Logan’s just arrived with a bag of frozen hash browns, so my motherly duty calls. Bottom freezers are great unless you have a two-year old that is always hungry. I have confiscated boxes of waffles, popsicles, ice cream cartons, and now hash browns from his little hands. He is full of wonder and a source of never-ending humour. I am especially thankful for his innocence and happy distractions these days.