Making A Life

I have been waiting for the results of the MRI I had on December 8th for a month now. I called before Christmas to see what the Dr had to say and learned that he hadn’t looked at my scan yet. So Christmas and New Years came and went and I am still waiting. I would like to think that no news is good news but I am not too sure.

I think that I might be turning into a hypochondriac though. When my head pain turned out to be a brain tumour it’s hard not to think that every cold and flu is indicative of something much larger. I am on my third round of sickness in the last month. Even though my kids and husband have been sick about the same time with the same symptoms I of course think that it’s worse than it is. That’s when the anxiety kicks in.

I spent most of the day in bed yesterday. I was very dizzy and nauseous and by the end of the day I was so sore that it brought back memories of the days post surgery when it felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest. Those first few days were rough my joints were sore from lack of movement and being clamped to the operating table for 5 hours even with all of the pain meds. It all came flooding back yesterday and it was scary.

Every once and a while I will feel something in my head around my scar which the Dr says is normal but it still freaks me out. The dizziness and nausea with the most recent bout of the flu was reminiscent of my pre-surgery brain tumour symptoms. I was not excited to feel that way again. I’m sure that this too will pass but until then I will play the role of a hypochondriac.