Finally NO MORE DIAPERS

diapersDear readers this is only intended for those of you that might consider yourselves poop stain fighters. If you have never had kids, never changed a diaper or have no intention of doing either of these things then stop reading because you might be grossed out by this post and will definitely never come over for dinner. To all of my fellow readers that might have at one time or another found yourself cleaning someone else’s bodily fluids this one’s for you.

Today is a very happy day in this house.

Today I cleaned the carpets.

Today I ran the potty’s through the dishwasher (all by themselves of course). I thought it was really gross too but my mom does it so it must be OK. For those that have never had kids and even for those that have I warned you that you might not want to come for dinner.

Today is the day that I washed all of the cloth diapers for the last time, the very very last time.

Today is the end of diapers because today everyone in this house goes to the bathroom in the toilet. Today is day that I thought was only a fantasy. But here it is and I am elated.

I hope to never again hear…so and so pooped on the floor. Like on the floor floor, inside the house? Please tell me it’s not on the carpet. Nobody stepped in it and tracked it onto the carpet, right? Stop right there DON’T TOUCH IT. As the parent it’s then up to you to clean up the kid, clean up the floor, clean the clothes and clean whatever else was in a unfortunate place at the scene of the accident.

Inevitably right after the carpets were clean in walks the “finally toilet trained” two year old with a smoothie. As we all know the smoothie ended up on the carpet because it had been a whole 10 minutes since I finished cleaning them. Its sort of like when you wash the car and minutes later a bird fly’s over and drops a huge load smack in the middle of the windshield. So on that note I totally expect that just writing this is going to jinx me. Tomorrow the carpets will no longer be clean, but here’s to hoping that it’s not poop or pee because my days as a poop stain fighter are over.

You might think that this is a sad day, but its not. My toddler poops in the toilet. I guess that he’s not a baby anymore and I am OK with that.

P.S. there are no secrets to toilet training contrary to what you might have read, you can bribe them, reward them, clap, sing, read books, use cloth diapers, stand on your head, act like a dancing monkey it really doesn’t matter because they will go when they are good and ready. Have you ever tried to go to the bathroom when someone else told you too? It’s not so easy.

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